notes on healing: the absence of sadness isn’t always progress, healing looks different on everyone, you can create your own closure, self-care doesn’t always feel good, self-harm is sometimes hard to notice, leave your pride at the door, have conversations with yourself daily, do not measure healing by the hurt you feel, it’s okay to ache, don’t rush through grief, sleep
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Anonymous asked:
loveknows-hang answered:
take a small risk everyday and it’ll help u slowly break out of ur shell. i used to be really shy (still working on it) but i would challenge myself to do things that i’m not confident with.. for example, i’m in an acting class and we do really silly short skits. i used to be really afraid of making a fool of myself but now i try to volunteer for roles, get into the moment, and present my monologues first. it really comes down to just enjoying the moment and not thinking too hard. when u think too much, u get lost in your mind and it holds u back from being in the moment and just being yourself. believe in yourself :)
Sorry for the length! I had a lot to get off my chest.
BACK STORY: When I was 12, my mom got married to a halfway decent guy. He’s not bad, but he’s not great either, but he made my mom happy and that’s all that I cared about. In fact, I cared so much about her happiness that I was willing to endure 6 years of living under the same roof as his self-obsessed, obnoxious, spoiled daughter, Amy. The entire time we lived together, she would project all of her insecurities onto me in the form of insults. Being young and wildly insecure about myself, these daily insults well and truly cut me to the core and just continued the cycle of crippling insecurity.
When I started “talking to” a boy for the first time, Kyle, she all of a sudden developed an intense infatuation with him and told me I was forbidden from communicating with him from then on. I was insecure but I was not a pushover. When I didn’t listen to her demands, she took it a step further and told Kyle I had ongoing relationships with several other boys (untrue), which he unfortunately believed. I was completely crushed. She then swooped in and took every opportunity to rub it in my face that she “won” him (i.e. inviting him to my birthday parties at home, inviting me out with her only to later reveal I would be thirdwheeling on their date, making him compliment me and then gloating about how she had such a nice boyfriend, etc). This sort of thing happened countless times, not with just boys but with friends and even workplaces! They ended up dating for two years and, although they had a nasty breakup, Kyle and I remained on good terms, which drove her up the wall. She would constantly ask me, “So did you guys hook up behind my back yet?” while claiming to have moved on already.
When we finally graduated high school (we were in the same year), I could not be happier to move out and go to college. While I was finally living the life I wanted without her toxicity, she went to 2 different unaccredited schools, both of which she dropped out of after 1 semester at each. Eventually, she moved back in with our parents in our hometown and fell into her old ways again (assuming she had ever grown out of them). On the eve of her 19th birthday, she posted to FB about how her friends had gifted her a fake ID and raved about their plans to club hop for her birthday.
Even though I lived 500mi away, she still had to find some way to rub it in my face that I would be missing out on all the fun. I was invited to her birthday event page on FB, where she detailed all the extravagant and expensive things she planned for her special day. We’re talking limo rental, VIP rooms at 2 of the biggest clubs in town, and even some photographer guy who would follow them like paparazzi. She made a public post on the event page where she tagged me and said, “It’s going to be amazing! Too bad you’ll miss out! HAHA. You’ll have to wait 2 years before you can experience any of this.”
It had been about a year since I had last seen or spoken to her. By this point, I was at a much happier place with myself, emotionally. It took me a while to shake off the effects of her emotional abuse, but by god, I did it and I wasn’t going to let her drag me back to those lows again. But this post got me to reminisce about all the things that she had done to me in the past and I couldn’t help but feel a boiling rage inside.
Now, unbeknownst to her, Kyle had recently reconnected with me on FB. It only friendly conversation between us, catching up on each other’s lives, until he suggested we meet up and have lunch (he went to another college an hour away). Lunch turned into us having an afternoon-long shit-talking-fest about Amy. He confessed that she was emotionally abusive to him during their relationship and the only time they didn’t fight was when I was in their company (which is why he didn’t mind me thirdwheeling on all those dates, apparently). During this, he also confessed he had feelings for me but couldn’t forgive himself for letting Amy dangle him in front of me, because he knew that I had liked him. This guilt was apparently something he had been carrying for years and finally found the courage to apologize for now.
REVENGE: Here’s where we get petty. I convinced Kyle to alert his brother, who happened to be the marketing director for one of the clubs Amy had reserved a VIP room at, of these upcoming birthday plans. After he did that, I went home and called the limousine rental company and pretended to be a concerned parent and insisted no alcohol be available since several of the girls were underage. They let me know that they were very appreciative of the notice. And then, I did a little digging and found out who the “paparazzi” guy would be and called him to cancel his services for the event. With her birthday coming up in just a couple of days, I sat back and waited to let the chips fall where they may… and it was better than I could have hoped for. When I asked about it a few days afterwards, she was sure to screech every beautiful detail to me over the phone.
Since the limo did not provide them with alcohol, they stopped by a friend’s house to “pre-game” and sneak in their own supply. Once the driver noticed the gaggle of very drunk girls in his limo, he stopped and made them throw away all of the liquor they snuck in. When they got to the first club, Kyle’s brother, who knew Amy as Kyle’s ex, confronted them at the door and told them there was no way in hell they were getting in. This was VERY upsetting to these group of drunk girls and they all proceeded to make a huge drunken scene, going so far as showing him Amy’s fake ID to “prove” they were allowed in…except the name on the ID wasn’t hers. Kyle’s brother, or “Assfucker” as Amy called him, had security forcibly remove them from the premises. As the cherry on top, he contacted his friends at the other clubs in town and warned them of Amy and her underage entourage, successfully banning her from every single dance club/bar in a 20mi radius. She didn’t even get a refund on the deposits for the VIP rooms. She’s lucky she wasn’t arrested, but she still plays victim to “horrible bad luck.”
TL;DR: Evil stepsister torments me in our teen years so I ruin her last teenage birthday by getting her banned from every club in town and making her waste thousands of dollars. Also, I fucked Kyle.
Men dropping women because they have sex “too soon” is a complete myth. They drop you because all they ever wanted is sex, they reached their goal, and now they’re moving on. You can tell by the fact that they obviously pursued having sex with you.
It has nothing to do with “self-respect” or “ladylike” behaviour. Have sex whenever you feel comfortable, on the first date or after you’re married, but don’t let anyone tell you that you being sexual is the reason you’re undesirable or you’re not in a relationship. If you feel safe and comfortable engaging in sex, there’s no reason you need to hold back and if you get dumped afterwards, it’s because you’ve been pursued by a manipulative piece of shit.
“you move on from people quickly”
like ok????? and what’s the alternative?? sitting around moping because something ended??? is that would I’m supposed to do? sit around and cry and feel sorry for myself? just shut myself off and wallow in self pity and misery??
like no thanks I think I’d rather get the fuck over it and move on cause I deserve the world and if someone didn’t wanna give it to me then it’s their loss, not mine.
hoe tips n tricks
basically just a cute lil list of tips for self-care hope u enjoy ❤️
• for rly smooth skin, shave w/ coconut butter and apply coconut oil afterwards i promise ur skin will thank u
• neosporin is rly good for stretch marks
• to taste ;))) better, cranberry juice, apple juice, and yogurt works better than pineapples
• exfoliate!!! moisturize!!! love urself!!! wash ur face daily and moisturize ur body for 30 mins after a shower
• def recommend men’s shaving cream instead of female, it lathers better and it leaves ur skin feeling softer (also hair doesn’t grow back as fast)
• seriously drink ur water fam :/// better for ur skin, immune system, digestive system, metabolism, etc. if u want add some fresh fruit into it why not
•make ur own body/lip scrub! brown sugar + coconut oil, scrub on your legs n lips you’ll feel amazing, takes off all the dead skin and bacteria too
• if u have dark marks on your inner thighs, rub coconut oil on them
• carry vaginal cleansing cloths in ur bag/purse for when u need them
• pls go pee after sex/masturbation, it helps prevent UTI and cleans your coochie
• always wipe ur cooch from front to back to prevent yeast infections
• carry around a small bag of emergency items u may need whatever happens (ex: tampon/pad, spare undies, chapstick, etc.)
• to grow ur eyebrows and/or lashes, coconut oil and castor oil does wonders, apply with a clean mascara wand/spoolie
• bring condoms ur damn self
• psa there’s nothing wrong w/ masturbation it’s so good for you and helps to find out what u do/don’t like in bed
• a dab of tea tree oil on a pimple will work v good (so will toothpaste in pinch but it will dry it out so make sure u moisturize after)
• get massages, pamper yourself 💖
• invest in good shampoo + conditioner for your hair type
• heard kat von d liquid lipsticks are bj proof ;))
• matte makeup always works better if ur sweating and rolling in the sheets
• get some cute undies/bras/lingerie for yourself
• NEVER go to sleep with makeup on, remove it with makeup remover wipes and wash ur face pretty pls
• get ur eyebrows threaded/waxed it’s so worth it
• if u want to get ur coochie in tip top shape I would recommend a bikini wax done by a professional it’s not that much $$$ and they actually know what they’re doing I promise
• to grow out ur nails, rub garlic on your nails and coconut oil on your cuticles for stronger, longer natural nails
• washing ur vulva and pubic hair with vaginal cleaning soap is v good for you and removes dead skin, bacteria, and odor
• face masks work wonders, also blackhead removal strips are great too
• take care of ur body, it needs u just as much as u need it
!!! please use coconut oil sparingly I’m
telling you too much will clog your pores and cause acne and we do not want that so use a little at a time less is more
if beyoncé wins best rock performance white people will literally self destruct and i need that to happen immediately
Anyway, not being open and loving and vulnerable is a form of self sabotage because it prevents you from developing true meaningful connections and relationships.
i love being my own girlfriend and protecting my own damn self
Bilinguals overwhelmingly report that they feel like different people in different languages. It is often assumed that the mother tongue is the language of the true self. (…) But, if first languages are reservoirs of emotion, second languages can be rivers undammed, freeing their speakers to ride different currents.
